Through a recent Instagram post, Brown Dining Services announced their brand new addition to the menu: Chocolate and Potato Chip Cookie Potato Chips.
“We’re always looking for new ways to reinvent classic dishes,” stated Vice President of Dining Services Stanley Hoover as he looked for his tall white chef’s hat.
Much to everyone’s disbelief, a groundbreaking Brown Daily Herald poll shockingly reveals that 50% of the student body consists of freshmen and sophomores.
“Our fastidious reporters were sent out to all four corners of the Brown University campus to poll over 7000 undergraduates, and we were astonished by our findings,” reported poll coordinator Sebastian Piao, positively sweating at the spike in viewership the BDH will receive after releasing this stat.
According to sources, a student was spotted on the Main Green deeply engrossed in a one-page summary of a book.
“Literature like this, you just gotta appreciate”, commented Will Bennet, while gazing in quiet admiration at the single sheet of paper in his hands.
Sources report that Jillian Glieberman, the author of the source carrying your 200-page thesis, actually didn’t mean that at all.
“Yeah, when you said that I used rabbits as a motif for happiness in the book, you were way off,” said Glieberman, completely undercutting the core of the thesis you spent an entire year writing.
Despite never attending class this semester, reports indicate Marissa Lance found the final unexpectedly hard.
“Yeah, I don’t know any of this stuff,” said Lance trying to remember which lab section she was in, “to be honest I thought this was going to be mostly true or false questions.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
