Reports indicate that your plantain-like friend just can’t resist intervening whenever he sees someone peeling their banana from the stem, which is obviously the wrong way to go about it.
“Ahh no no no, not right!” exclaimed the oblong-faced, asymmetrical, stalk-like friend who, much like a plantain, tricked you into thinking they’d be sweet but turned out to be weird and, clearly, kind of gross.
Sources report that local man Greg Jenkins is still grappling with a haunted house’s decision to instantly hire him as a scare actor.
“Maybe it’s my hair?” contemplated Jenkins, whose face looked like it’s been hit by a bus, twice. “I haven’t had it cut in, like, two whole weeks, so it’s definitely getting a little unruly.”
“I came in to interview for a janitorial position.
Local sources recently confirmed that these lame trick-or-treaters are totally disengaged from my shrimp facts.
“I just wanted candy, but he kept telling me boring stuff about shrimps’ reproductive cycles,” said pathetic child Denise Schmidt, foolishly expressing boredom about my fact that female shrimp can store the sperm of multiple males in order to fertilize their eggs at a later point in time.
Reports indicate that local trick-or-treater Damien Devon really thinks he’s gonna fill that pillowcase in this economy.
“Hooray! I am going to get sooo much candy tonight,” Devon exclaimed, unaware that a small plastic pumpkin basket would probably suffice after the way the economy has been looking these past few years.
Fourth grader Mia Thompson’s strikingly accurate Monica Lewinsky costume was not the most well-received at a local elementary school’s Halloween parade.
“It was a choice, and definitely not the right one,” commented fourth grade teacher Ms.