Kids. They grow up so fast. One minute they’re so small you can fit ‘em in the palm of your hand, and the next minute you start blinking really, really slowly and you aren’t done until eighteen years later when they’re all grown up and out the door.
Noting that he dispatches the punctuation mark with the effortless grace of a veteran English teacher, sources reported today that James Camden is throwing down semicolons in this email he’s writing like a total fucking champion.
“It’s pretty simple really,” Camden explained, trying to act modest despite clearly knowing how much of a complete badass he is.
In a fun, hands-on approach to learning about organized terrorism, 1,200 high school students from all over the state congregated in, and then seized, the Providence Hilton for the annual 3-day Model Terrorism Conference last weekend, sources confirm.
The much-anticipated matchup between the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Houston Rockets came to a complete standstill as NBA Referee Tom Jenkins refused to restart the game clock until the Thunder’s Russell Westbrook apologizes for fouling Houston’s James Harden when the latter player attempted a layup.